Womanhood

Reason number 278 I love being a girl:

It's Sunday evening. The house is clean. Candles are lit. You just got out of an everything-shower, smelling like a lavender field. You're cozied up with the sleepy kitty you spontaneously adopted four years ago. You're doing a face mask that will supposedly erase your pores, journaling, and drinking peppermint tea in a cat-themed mug your parents gifted you. You nibble on some dark chocolate while listening to a mellow playlist that Spotify has kindly curated just for you.

To all the men out there: do you understand this feeling? Surely there is a male equivalent of this experience—or is this exclusive to us lucky members of the female species?

Lately I've been thinking about how incredibly lucky I am to be a 25 year old woman living in a Global North country. We often acknowledge how privileged we are by ending a sentence with remarks like "ugh, first world problems". Even our annoyances are rooted in privilege.

I recently had a car problem that totally ruined my day - until I remembered, oh right, I have a car. And the funds to fix it when things happen. Last week I burned my hand pretty badly while cooking - painful, yes, but also a reminder that I get to make myself nutritious meals with whatever ingredients I want, whenever I want. That's an insane level of access and luxury.

Most importantly, I have people. People I can call when life feels like too much. People who show up. That alone makes me wealthier and I sometimes remember.

The concept of money, wealth, and definition of a good life is so drastically different depending on where you are in this world. I am no multi-millionaire, but I have never known food insecurity. I can access any type of cuisine - Indian, Chinese, Ethiopian, whatever - in under 10 minutes. How weird is that? Honestly, could we even do that twenty years ago? Of the 8 billion people on this planet, how many can now?

This isn't to diminish anyone's struggles - least of all my own. But shifting perspectives lately has helped me focus less on what I lack and more on what I have. Especially in times like these, when nothing feels certain, it helps to root into gratitude.

I recently read a book called Heartburn by Nora Ephron. She is kind of a legend in the rom com world, with some of her most recognizable work being When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Julie & Julia, Sleepless in Seattle, and other classics that defined an entire generation of romantic comedy. Some readers may find it surprising that these movies were made by the same person, as was I.

I stumbled upon Heartburn while I was watching one of Alison Roman's Home Movies - Spaghetti Carbonara episode (linked below). In the video Alison mentions a scene where Rachel Samstat (Meryl Streep) whips up a spaghetti carbonara after sleeping with Mark (Jack Nicholson) for the first time, and Mark saying something like "when we're married, I want this every week". As an Alison Roman fangirl who wants to like everything she likes... I was intrigued.

The book, in a nutshell, is about a woman getting cheated on by her husband, and seemingly no one caring. This woman, who is pregnant and also has a toddler to take care of, gets cheated on. And nobody really cares. Without getting too much in the details risking spoiling, the book is about her experience living through it, and coming out stronger than ever. I saw the movie shortly after finishing the book, and while I thoroughly enjoyed the banter, the melancholic wit, and youthful chemistry between Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson, I sadly have to say that I fell asleep about 45 minutes into the movie.

One quote from the book that I think about daily, after 2 months of reading it is this:

Damn.

That hit me. In the book she says that this is part of why she didn't know her husband was cheating - she was too busy cooking for him.

As someone who also expresses love through cooking - and who's experienced her fair share of heartbreaks - that line cracked me open a little.

But I guess that's life:

You meet someone.

You make them spaghetti carbonara.

You fall in love. You get married.

You have two kids.

And sometimes... it still ends.

Nothing lasts. Everything fades.

Womanhood can mean so many things. It's everything - lavender scented body wash and dark chocolate and journaling on Sunday nights. It's wine nights, girl talks and endless outfit options.

But it's also never knowing your actual bra size, getting ripped off by scumbag mechanics, cooking for someone for years only to be left behind, and learning - over and over again - how to love yourself better.

I may have started a blog entry with one topic and ended with another. But that's the beauty of having my own blog - I can kinda do whatever I want with it.

And maybe that's the truth thing about being a girl:

we contain multitudes.

And that-

is reason number 278 I love being a girl.